The boy who was raised as a dog by Bruce Perry

Firstly, before I go any further, I encourage anyone considering adoption to go and buy this book now. It is neither an information book about adoption, nor a lovely story by adoptive parents. Quite simply, it is an incredible insight into the impact of early trauma on a child’s brain.

I’ve always enjoyed (not the right word) reading books about children who’ve had a bad start to life and overcome incredible difficulties so I knew I would enjoy this book before I started. However, I sometimes find them a bit dramatic and over the top so I don’t read them regularly. This book is similar in a lot of ways, telling the tragic and emotional stories about children who have experienced awful things. What it also does, which I really liked, was give you some science on brain development and the impact that these experiences have on the brain.

At first, I found the science bit really hard going and it almost put me off. But, my the end of the book, I felt like I really understood WHY children who have suffered neglect/abuse behave the way they do. There is also detail on the work that he did with the children which gives some ideas for therapeutic parenting but mainly encouraged me to read more about how to do this. I’ve already recommended the book to my mum and sister and I highly recommend it to anyone involved in adoption,

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An adoption diary by Maria James

It has been ages since I’ve read an adoption book but as I’m currently enduring one of those famous ‘adoption waits’ I felt the need to do something adoption related to convince myself progress is being made. So, on Saturday afternoon I picked this book up and started to read.

Quite simply, this book is amazing. It is exactly what the title says – a diary, written by a woman during her adoption journey. The book starts right at the beginning, giving you a brief history of the couples infertility problems. It then takes you right through the journey with them, including their experiences of prep courses, home study and the matching process. For this reason, it is both incredibly informative and very emotional.

I loved the way it was written. The way it had a really personal feel to it made it a pretty addictive read. You got to see a real person’s experience of the adoption journey which is what I want to read as a prospective adopter. I enjoyed reading the time scales and the details included in her panel experiences and matching etc as these are areas I have yet to reach.

The author didn’t shy away from the more difficult aspects of adoption, including the difficulties that her son had come with. However, this is something I really valued in the book. It didn’t take a completely romantic view of adoption but rather shared the good with the bad. For this reason, I’m not ashamed to admit that the touching moments really struck a chord and I got teary more than once.

All in all, a great read and one that I’d be tempted to read again. Very easy reading but realistic too.

Adopting on your own by Lee Varon

I started reading this book a LONG time and before putting it on the shelf and only returning to it this evening.

It isn’t is extremely detailed and I found it to be a book to sit and read rather than dip into occasionally and I can’t imagine re-reading it in the future. It is divided into 2 sections: to adopt or not to adopt and the adoption process for singles.

The first section looks at motivations for adopting and gives a lot of examples of real individuals and the challenges they’ve faced which I found very interesting. Each section looks at a different aspect e.g. strengths of one parent families, reasons for adopting and gives a really detailed analysis of the situation and challenges. Each section ends with activities which are designed to get you looking more closely at yourself and considering whether this is the right decision for you. I imagine these are very useful to someone who is considering adoption but as I’ve already decided, I found they felt a bit silly.

The second section of the book looked at the adoption process and whilst some valid points were raised it is written for an American audience and I found a lot of the detail irrelevant to me and I skipped through the second half quite quickly.

The book has some great strengths, providing a detailed and comprehensive overview of single adoption and the anecdotes from adopters are brilliant but overall I found a lot of the detail too american and irrelevant which is a shame as otherwise it was a great read.

What to Expect When You’re Adopting by Dr Ian Palmer

Upon entering the adoption process I felt a strong desire to understand the approval process. I wanted to understand the details of home study, including the kinds of things that would be looked into. I gained a great insight through following the adoption uk forums but still felt a strong desire for a more generalised view of what it entails. Through my searching I came across Dr Ian Palmer’s book and upon completing it can confirm that it has given me an incredible insight into the intricacies and details of the adoption process.

One of the most striking features of this book is the careful, and clever, combination of a generalised and non-specific overview of the adoption process with a clear personal and friendly tone to the writing. The author begins the book by explaining their own connection to adoption which makes it feel much more reliable and accurate than if written by an ‘outsider’.

The book itself is divided into 5 parts, beginning with considering adoption and taking you right through to post adoptive support. Each stage is delved into in great detail, outlining the requirements of prospective adopters as well as the involvement of all kinds of other individuals. Throughout the book the author makes it extremely clear that adoption and the approval process can be demanding, hard work and can fail at any number of stages but emphasises that with hard work and commitment the desired outcome CAN be achieved.

I absolutely loved reading this book and would highly recommend it to prospective adopters who want to understand the ins and outs of the journey from a less clinical point of view. I felt that it’s description of the approval process gave me the best insight i’ve had so far and begun the process of reflection which appears to be key to the approval process. Whilst reading the book I thought carefully about my reasons for adoption, my support network and the possibility of not achieving approval. Thankfully it has proved to have a positive effect and I’m now eagerly awaiting the next stage in my own adoption journey.

Flying Solo by Julia Wise

As I’ve already mentioned numerous times I do love to read and research and have read a number of books on adoption. For that reason I thought I’d review some of the books I’ve read to share the real gems that there are out there.

When I decided to include books reviews in my blog it was all down to this book. Flying solo by Julia Wise is the first real life story of adoption which I read and I absolutely loved it.

In essence it is an extremely well written and enjoyable account of a single person’s experience of adoption. She shares stories of court dates with birth families, bad behaviour at school (her son’s behaviour, not hers) and the highs and lows of camping as a single parent all with the same interesting and enjoyable friendly tone. The book focuses on the issues she encounters both in making the decision to adopt and of being a single parent to an adopted child, rather than the details of the adoption process but this is what made the book such an enjoyable read.

The tone of the writing is humorous but this doesn’t prevent the author sharing in-depth some of the more harsh realities of adoption. However, overall the book is a story of success which is what I needed to read when deciding to enter the process.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to read something which is both a good read and informative about the realities of being an adoptive parent. As a single prospective adopter I found it made me think carefully about my own situation but also inspired me as I realised exactly what can be achieved when you believe in yourself and work hard to achieve your dreams.

A must-read in my opinion.