Meet the (foster) parents

Posted July 5, 2014 by rainy1983
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Next step – meet the foster carers.

At this point, I went through a huge transformation. The boys are no longer just bits of paper but real REAL children who I have seen hundreds of photographs of and I’m starting to get a good idea of what they are.

I was fortunate that the social worker and foster carers took control as I was overwhelmed with information and couldn’t think of anything to ask. They just talked about how they found the boys, an idea of their daily routine, any expected challenges etc.

Overall, I would describe it as exciting but very overwhelming. There is a real need to start thinking practically (like how do they sleep, any tips) but I just want to know the fun things still.

I got to see lots of photographs which brought them to life a lot. Up until this point, I had only seen one photograph and it was pretty poor. Now I’ve seen more, I wonder if they choose terrible photographs on purpose. I wish I had been able to take a photograph away but never mind, hopefully it will be taking photographs of my own soon!

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Meet the school

Posted July 5, 2014 by rainy1983
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Panel date is looming and I have been to lots of appointments to find out a ton of information about the boys.

first stop – school.

Biggest boy has been at the same school since he first began school when he was still living with birth parents. It was really interesting to hear about how things have changed for him throughout his life and how confident they are that adoption is what is needed.

Rather than focusing on academics, they gave me an overview of him as a child. The way they talked about him was lovely and they are clearly very attached to him. He has difficulties, as children with difficult starts so often do, but they describe him as having huge potential.

I was incredibly nervous before the meeting as I didn’t know what to expect and it was very surreal to meet people that knew the boys. I couldn’t help but feel slightly ‘vetted’ like they were deciding whether they thought I was good enough for him.

Thankfully it was a positive experience and went a little way towards making the boys feel very real.

Medical advisor

Posted June 19, 2014 by rainy1983
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I haven’t written a post in a long time as I’ve been largely in a long spell of waiting. It was so exciting to be linked but I hadn’t realised how much waiting there would be afterwards. Finally (a couple of months after being linked) I met the medical advisor to found out about the boys I am linked with.

I was very excited before the meeting as things were finally starting to move forwards. ‘Unfortunately’, the boys don’t have a huge number of health issues so the appointment was short and relatively unexciting. It was lovely to hear about them and start to see them as real boys and not just papers but it was (once again) a bit of an anti-climax. I now know a whole host of lovely facts about them, like their birth weights, but I still don’t have a feel for what they’re really like.

At the end of the appointment, the social workers just told me they were going to be on holidays for a while so nothing would happen again for at least 3 weeks. More waiting!! Very infuriating but at least I have a panel date to work towards!

The medical appointment was actually a month or so ago now so panel is suddenly looming. It is such a busy time – decorating, doing little bits of shopping, preparing introduction books etc. And that doesn’t even begin to cover the endless questions/worries/excitements which are running through my mind constantly.

Roll on July – it is nearly here!

Officially linked

Posted April 17, 2014 by rainy1983
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Phew, I am now officially and definite linked with 2 gorgeous boys.

Their social worker came out and met me to give me more information about them. After a long talk, I was left with their CPRs and told to take time in making a decision. It still just feels very right to me. They seem to be really well matched to me and their areas of need are strengths of mine so hopefully we will prove to be perfect for each other.

Now waiting for lots of appointments and dates to be booked. There is already talk of booking a date for matching panel which is much quicker than my experience last time. Fingers crossed for a nice smooth process and my beautiful boys could be home in the summer!

Link link link!

Posted April 10, 2014 by rainy1983
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Finally, some good news to share. I have been linked with 2 lovely boys from the LA.

I’m not sure whether I’m technically linked because I think that happens after I meet (and impress) their social worker but I feel so positively about this link.

When I read their profile, I was completely drawn to them. The older sibling is a little older than I originally intended to look at but it just felt very right. Now I am super excited and waiting to hear from their social worker to get a meeting booked.

Exciting times!

Going national

Posted March 20, 2014 by rainy1983
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My SW has finally admitted defeat and decided that she needs to look nationally to help me find my family.

In the past couple of months, I have had social workers express interest in me as an adopter but at pre linking couples were always chosen instead of me. My social worker was always to positive and sure each one would work out but it never turned out that way.

Last week, after another couple of children not being linked with me, she said she doesn’t feel that the LA have the children for me. I am not sure whether this is true or whether she thinks it might be easier to get linked with another agency.

On Friday, my profile was sent out to agencies nationally and I was sent a few profiles to consider. I have now seen 6 and enquired about 5. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard anything back from any of them yet. I continue to be amazed at how slowly things move. I would assume the SWs want these children matched as fast as possible but it seems that their workload makes it slow to even get sent details on children.

I am hoping that with looking nationally, things will move on more quickly now. I am scouring be my parent and trying not to get too excited about all these gorgeous children.

Nothing goes smoothly

Posted January 11, 2014 by rainy1983
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I haven’t updated this blog in an absolute age and I’m afraid it hasn’t been for good reasons.

A couple of weeks after meeting the child’s social worker and being officially linked I got a call from my social worker. Birth mum was pregnant again and it was expected that they would want to place both babies together. Unfortunately, as a single adopter I just didn’t think I could cope with that and had to make the decision to pull out (although I was given the option to adopt both). I took this very hard (as expected) especially as I kept being given news  that could get my hopes up, only for them to come crashing down again.

I had a lovely family Christmas before getting back on the adoption rollercoaster and only one week into the new year already things have been crazy. I was approached about the possibility of another baby and a decision was due to be made about which family to progress with. I then got news that this decision has been delayed for 2 weeks.

I have learnt that nothing ever runs smoothly but apparently I haven’t learnt to keep my emotions in check. So at the moment I’m doing a lot more waiting. Waiting 2 weeks to see if I will be linked with this baby, waiting for the next surprise hurdle and still waiting to become a mummy 😦

Fingers crossed for good news soon!